One Month

Today Endsley is one month old! And I can't help but think, "Where did this month go?" Is this what happens when you have kids? I feel like days have turned into hours, and while I could not be happier that my little girl is a whole month old, I'm already sad that she will never be this small again.

I have always, always, always been in a rush. Never have I been patient. Never have I truly enjoyed life in the moment. I have always looked forward to a later date. When I first found out I was pregnant - I already wanted to have a big bump to show off. When I finally had the bump, I wanted to have my daughter. The first week of her life I wanted her to be older so that things would be easier. And I guess now that she hit her first little milestone, it's finally starting to hit me. My life is starting to go by too quickly. I suddenly find myself wanting these days to last longer.

So Endsley, while you're taking your billionth nap of the day, I'm going to take some time to write down everything I can about your first month:

You were the most alert baby I have ever seen. The day you were born, I finally got to see a miracle. The day you were born, I cried harder than you did. The day you were born, you spent hours looking around at the new blurs of color that constituted your papa and I. We couldn't believe how long you were awake for. The day you were born, you were already holding your head up for a few seconds at a time. The day you were born, you impressed every nurse in Labor and Delivery by how well and how much you nursed. They called you "The Barracuda".

Papa and I couldn't take our eyes off of you, and I cried when the nurses had to take you to the nursery for your first bath and shots. I only let you go to the nursery twice, I couldn't stand to be away from you. I even slept propped up on my bed so that I could fall asleep holding you, but still be able to look like I had been awake if a nurse popped in.

We were all so excited (and nervous) to bring you home for the very first time. I had you in a dress and pink rose headband that my sorority sisters had given you at your baby shower. Chris and I were so nervous to strap you into your carseat that first time, you were so little. We drove home slower than we had ever driven. Your daddy stared down every car that got too close!

You were (and still are) such an easy baby. You eat, sleep, and poop. And you couldn't care less where you're sleeping! But you always prefer to be in our arms, you sleep best that way. By the way, you snore! I had never heard of a baby snoring, but it is the cutest thing I have ever heard. Every day you are more and more alert. You stare at things with such an intense look on your face. This past week you have started to recognize your papa's voice. Yesterday you even cried for him to hold you, and the second he did, you fell asleep.

You get stronger with every passing day. Your kicks propel you forward. So much so that I have to make sure there isn't anything for you to kick off of when I feed you. You move your head from side to side and hold it up for so long, you seem like you're a much older baby! You grasp onto my shirts, necklaces, and hair when you nurse. And you make piggy noises whenever you get frustrated.

Little girl, this past month has gone by too quickly. You have grown so much. But this past month has been, by far, the best time of my life.

I love you,
Mama